Well let me see... I'll start off by saying that I live in the South, that's about as specific as I need to be. Im caucasian (white), but I get a lot of sun down here, so it's more of a golden tan.
Im a Methodist, but not very evangelistic (I won't push my beliefs on you) but I'm very Theological, I love talking about religion, not matter what yours is.
I really like videogames and music, but I'm not really into rock or country or rap. I'm more keen to be caught listening to Classical, Dance, Trance, or some game soundtracks. I'm somewhat of an audiophile, I almost always have an ipod on my person, and I really wish I could just add background music to my life.
Im not really fond of ignorance or being helpless, so I try and learn as much as possible. And I try to do lots of volunteer work in my community. I don't really like fruits either, Im more of a veggie person.
My favorite ice cream is coconut mixed with chocolate chip cookie dough. (Obviously
)
I used to be a competitive swimmer, but it's more casual now, I like having maximum relaxation time.
I don't have a job for the same reason I don't have a swim team, though I'll have to get one soon to make up for all my spending x_x.
I also like to act in plays, but I don't do it as often as I'd like.
I'm very well worded, I learned a good fraction of my extensive vocabulary from videogames themselves, role playing games (not too surprising). You'd be surprised how wordy those get. My first videogame was Diablo II at age eight. (It is rated M, mind you)
Though it's not all roses and daisies for the Darkmico...
I have had a lot of stress in my life over the past year, enough that I have formed a couple of mental disorders, but nothing too serious (obviously, because I can converse in a completely regular fashion, if you haven't noticed).
My current situation could have been much worse if it wasn't for my sudden devotion to Religion.
I have a mild case of Schizophrenia (nothing paralyzing), mixed with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), and a level of escapism.
Of course, I get higher levels of paranoia wrapped up with the whole schizophrenic gift box, so my greatest fear is mirrors.
Yeah, laugh Reon. I'm terrified of mirrors. To be more specific, I just don't trust my reflection. I even have a different name for it because I can't trust it enough to be me. It acts too innocent, copying my every move...
How am I supposed to know that it won't just decide to play tricks on me one night, and start banging on the glass. Then I'll get somebody to see it and he'll just be standing there, copying me again!
Of course, it doesn't just stop at mirrors with my paranoia, I can't leave anything alone or out of my sight for even a minute, without becoming suspicious about that area right after. Such as, I turn the nozzle on for a shower, close the blinds, and go read for a minute to let the water warm up, but as soon as I return to the shower, I hesitate as to whether something got behind the blind while I was gone. Silly, I know, but those scenes in movies where the monster can be in one place for a second, and gone the next has gotten me.
Oh, and I get these death visions, or at least that's what they're called. It's like harmlessly spacing out, but instead of random, or innocent things, I daydream about the deaths of the people I care about, and myself at times. It has nothing to do with anything about the desire to have them die, because they are close to me, but I still will just see the people I love die constantly. It's very odd situations that aren't even likely. But it still gives me the mental feeling that I have lost one that I love. I usually feel pretty depressed when I snap back to reality.
Also, I hear voices. Or at least, just one voice. It's impossible to tell what it is because it's just a whisper, but I'll hear my name whispered into my ear quite clearly, it's worse when I'm alone, because I know it can't have been somebody bothering me.
And I have some very slight muscle spasms due to the PTSD, when anything gets under my skin (figuratively) or I just enter a quick drifting state where everything gets too calm, I'll jitter upper body back to attention uncontrollably, this really freaks out my friends
Im actually supposed to avoid doing anything stressful, thus barring me from doing too much work, lest my case get worse, but I still try and be useful.
I actually have thought a long time about each disorder, and there is a reason for each. For example, I have these death visions because I fear losing somebody close to me so greatly. Im assuming that my mind is just trying to shell itself against the idea by having myself forcibly witness their removal from this mortal coil so I wouldn't be so torn when it inevitably does happen. It's sickening, I know, but I couldn't make this stuff up.
Besides that, there isn't much wrong with me. I try my best to end conflicts among others, and I don't get into fights with others anymore, mostly because my whole grade happens to know about the things that have caused me so much stress in the span of 5 months. Besides, humans all have the ability to be great people if they try hard enough, and kindness is usually repaid with similar tender.
I try to adapt the true purpose of the Libra (the scales) into my life when dealing with conflict. I stay unbiased and neutral, but I still do decide who is wrong and who is right.
Overall I see my life as one big performance. My job in life is to entertain, make people happy, and possibly make them better people for getting to know me. I may slip up some times, but I always try again, and I don't really care what happens, because the show must go on.
And please don't ask me what these terrible things that have happened to my life are, I hate repeating one story, and the other one is not something I'll tell publicly, since I'd consider it extremely disrespectful.
Oh, and I think Darkmico is hella awesome.
Thu Aug 14, 2008 6:58 pm
